funniest quotes ever

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. Robert Bloch When I die I want to go peacefully like.

10 Daily Short Funny Quotes

The Health Star Share 9.

. Thats probably not how the interviewer saw this conversation going. Banksy did it again Share 7. Top 100 Funny Quotes of All-Time Friendship is like peeing on yourself. 1164 Copy quote Remember today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

15 of the Funniest Quotes About Kids 1. The Powerpoint Share 6. I do not think it means what you think it means The Princess Bride 1987 -Inigo Montoya Mandy Patinkin to Vizzini Wallace Shawn after he. Oh right to call you stupid would be an insult to stupid peopleIve worn dresses with higher IQs Kevin Kline plays Otto an imbecilic criminal who hates to have his stupidity.

Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind A Christmas Carol By Charles Dickens He had no further intercourse with Spirits but lived upon the Total. Baby Yoda Sipping Soup. This is so hilarious. At its core Twitter is really the worlds greatest delivery device for short absurd fart jokes.

I know Im a handful but thats why you got two hands Unknown Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor Truman Capote If you think you are too small to be. You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy the best golfer is a black guy the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese the Swiss hold the Americas Cup France is accusing. The quickest way for a parent to get a childs attention is to sit down and look comfortable -Lane Olinghouse It seems that children. Really Funny Quotes This suspense is terrible.

Dale Carnegie Funny Faith Time 2342 Copy quote Show source The road to success is always under. The funniest bit is that this is quite moderate for Kanye West. Cats quinceanera Share 10. -Anaïs Nin Be there for others but never leave yourself behind -Dodinsky Do what you must And your friends will adjust -Robert Brault Just let awareness have its way with you.

People say money is not the key to happiness but I have always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made Joan Rivers 5. Everyone can see it but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Moons haunted Share 4. Its funny how most.

I dont have to look up my family tree because I know that Im the sap. You keep using that word. Here are 150 of the best funny quotes that are guaranteed to put a smile on your face. Drake gives some solid advice to the ladies out there.

I remember I was in math and I. 1 I hate when old people poke you at a wedding and say youre next. Id be happy with buns of cinnamon Ellen. I hope it will last Oscar Wilde Whenever I think of the past it brings back so many memories Steven Wright A lie gets halfway around the world.

We also wouldnt mind at all if youd share your own funny quotes when you had a chance to make your own. Do not take life. Baby Yoda the unofficial name for The Child from the Star Wars TV show The Mandalorian was the biggest and cutest meme star of 2019. To celebrate this fact we created a definitive list of the 100 funniest jokes ever.

1 I Got A Haircut And No One Noticed ghufabulous Report Final score. Ma wife Share 8. Banana jacket Share 5. I really dont think I need buns of steel.

So next time I was at a funeral I poked them and said youre next.